And there she was. On the bench in the park. Red leaves on the grass brought by the autumn season. Her back was at me. Waiting for me. My eyes on her as I approach her. Her short curly hair bounces, as she turns her head from time to time, and flows with the cool and gentle touch of the soft wind. Oh God, I adore her. I love her and I am so happy that she’s mine. The jacket she has on, that black jacket, it was my gift to her for Christmas. She was thrilled, I remember. She loves the jacket. Four steps away from her, I called her name. I waited for that genuine reaction with desperation, how her eyes glows and widens, how her lips will form to a big smile, how her brows move upon seeing me. Then she will stand and open her arms wide open to give me a warm hug and plant a deep kiss unto my lips. She’ll then tell me how much she misses me while looking deep into my eyes with love and pride. She turned to the direction of the sound. I stopped on my tracks. Her cheek, there are tears flowing. Her sad eyes and nose are pink. She was crying. As I approached further, I saw a headstone. I froze, then flashbacks flooded my mind. Blissfulness turns into sorrow with pitch black full of pain. I remembered the doctor’s words that my body is rejecting the treatment, that the experimental drug is only failing my body. I remembered the pain whenever I see you worried. I remembered your words of encouragement. I remembered your tired eyes, having to work and look over me, assisting me in everything. I reached out to you, I hesitated, I feel for your cheeks but my fingers just went through. You pause, you whisper my name. A painful slash went through my chest. I attempt again but with the same results. I sat beside her. Desperation engulf me then she said,
“I know that you here, Dan. I can feel you, I can feel you touching my cheeks, like the way you do whenever I’m sad. I miss you. I miss you so much, Dan. I miss you so much that it hurts. It hurts so much… but I would rather have this pain than see you suffer in that hospital bed. It breaks my heart, Dan. It breaks my heart whenever I see you cry in pain, whenever I sense that you feel helpless and useless. It breaks my heart. You never gave up, Dan, you tried your hardest. I am so so proud of you. You are and always will be the only love of my life. You and little Danny here of course”. She touched her belly. “I’m 3 week pregnant, Dan. The in vitro was a success. Little Danny here will hear everything about you, how brave you are, how lucky his Mommy is having you, how lucky he is having a strong, brave and loving dad. He will hear all our happy moments, our laughs, both our good and bad times. He will watch all our videos, Dan. He will be proud to have you as his daddy. I love you, Dan. I love you so much. And I miss you so so SO much”.
I plant a kiss on her cheek, she is so warm. She smile, I whispered I love you. She replied I love you too. Then all of the sudden, I am floating, floating towards the sky. The pain inside me slowly vanish. I feel lighter and lighter as I ascend to the sky. Then a bright white light welcome me and it is it.
