Nauseous, dizzy, tired and sore. Drench in sweat and tears. I’m on my two feet on this solid cold ground. Tears falling and flowing. I don’t want to hold this stance anymore. Exhausted, I just want to give in. Surrender to the call of letting go. Pain engulfs my brain. Thoughts are rushing in. Images of what happened keep on flashing. Spoken sharp words echoing. I feel pain on my chest which intensifies with every breath that I take. I opened my eyes. My vision is blurred by tears. I waited for the liquid to flow. A knife is stabbed in my chest. I felt my heartbeat goes faster and faster. I am so weak that it takes a great amount of effort just to move my arms. I reach for the knife. I need to stop the pain it is bringing. As I grasp the handle, I felt resistance. Someone is pushing the knife steadily. I looked up, a grinning me is staring straight into my eyes. Panic crept. As my heartbeat and breathing fastens, her grin widens. With all might I tried to pull the knife out, but with no success. Tears are pooling again, I let out a sob. She is becoming stronger and stronger and I am becoming weaker and weaker. She begins to laugh. Her laugh becomes louder and louder. My heart and lungs become weaker, tired. Tired in giving means for me to survive. My will to live decreases. My knees wobbled and then I knelt. Hand slipped from my knife’s clutch. Oxygen and life starts to left my brain. The world is now twirling and spinning. I closed my eyes in exhaustion and then I finally surrender. Life left me and death welcomed me.
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