September 2011
1 post
THE MURDERER OUTSIDE ME
Nauseous, dizzy, tired and sore. Drench in sweat and tears. I’m on my two feet on this solid cold ground. Tears falling and flowing. I don’t want to hold this stance anymore. Exhausted, I just want to give in. Surrender to the call of letting go. Pain engulfs my brain. Thoughts are rushing in. Images of what happened keep on flashing. Spoken sharp words echoing. I feel pain on my chest...
July 2011
1 post
I DIED SO I CAN HAUNT YOU
Everything is now set. I cannot wait to fly to your place and see your peaceful face sleeping. I cannot wait to smell you. I cannot wait to press my nose on your ear and kiss your jaw line where you very much like to be kissed. Everything is set. The potion. The bed. Everything is set. I lay down and took the bottle. I pulled the cork and drank the whole up until the last drop. I can fill the...
June 2011
1 post
April 2011
1 post
BLASTING ECSTASY OF SENSES
As I lay awake on my bed Tuesday morning, I remembered how I was for the past two months. Thinking children names which starts with our names and sneering all by myself because it will be long. And when you’ll be out and we will be “us”, I imagined your arms around my waist while sleep will envelop us. I will rest my head on your shoulder, listen to your breathing and enjoying...
February 2011
2 posts
JOSEPH AND ELENA
I’m home. Elena?
Fuck it. I hate this place. It is so fucking tidy. This woman that I called my wife always clean every inch of this ridged house. But I love that bitch with all my heart. The way she cooks my favorite foods, so damn delicious, I can always make love to her every after dinner because of that. God! That girl is unbelievable. She is a splendid wife, the love of my life. Good...
REPRESSION
I cannot feel from my elbow down and knees to my toes. All I am remembering is to breath. Forcing air into my chest. I am exhausted. All I see is red. I started to focus on what I am seeing. Blood. Blood on my hands. A gush of wind amplified the coldness I feel on my hands. On the floor is a blood tinged butcher’s knife. On the left part of the room, a heavily mutilated corpse rest. The...
January 2011
3 posts
DANIEL
And there she was. On the bench in the park. Red leaves on the grass brought by the autumn season. Her back was at me. Waiting for me. My eyes on her as I approach her. Her short curly hair bounces, as she turns her head from time to time, and flows with the cool and gentle touch of the soft wind. Oh God, I adore her. I love her and I am so happy that she’s mine. The jacket she has on, that...
A white woman, about 51 years old, was seated next to a black man on an airplane. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. “Madam, what is the matter?” the hostess asked. “You obviously do not see it,” she responded. “You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative...
I paced down the dark alley, tip toeing, cautiously walking. I found the room. Clicked in the key and opened the door. With monster eyes and alien mind I succumb the thing. His dead body. His dead beautiful body. His cold dead beautiful body. The cold made me shiver. An erotic shiver that I asked for more.
November 2010
8 posts
Tonight. Every night. Forever.
I rushed through the sidewalk to reach home. Three blocks then I’ll be home. Three blocks. I stepped a big steps with a near run. The then sight of my front door gave me excitement. My walk turned into a run. I clicked in my key and entered. Vast darkness welcomed me. I took a deep breath of cinnamon and strawberry scent and immediately it relaxed my nerves. Cinnamon and strawberry, your...
The Mist of the Evening Downtown Pavement
Taxis strolling, traffic lights blinking, yellow lights envelopes the city. Fumes of beggar’s urine in the corner of every pavement. Tracks of vomit from a hard night’s drink. Boozed out nigga strolling in an invisible crooked track. Silly bitches shrieking with laughter as they are now high in stones. Homeless people on their cardboards snoring clutching their empty bottles of wisky....
Want to be with you every minute of the day.
There was a boy, an enchanting boy that was born today. I gaze at him in his glass window. I fell in love at first sight. His pink cheeks and his blue eyes, so adorable and his sweet smile, it just melt my heart. I waited. I patiently waited. My friends laughed at me when I told them that I’m in love with him. I patiently waited. Now he is a lad, throwing stones at a lake. I hid first...
NEW LOOK
You lay lifeless My hands on you I carefully caress Fading, your hue
I fall deeper Your new look I’m in love deeper I snap a photo with you
Your new scent It’s not perfume It’s the smell of death It perfectly suit you
I embraced you You’re now stiff It’s day two And I’m in bliss
I gear to your lips I’m now ecstatic I planted a deep kiss I’m now...
HE LAY STILL
He lay still. On our bed. The bed where we shared our intimacy, lust and power. Face so beautiful. Pale, chestnut curls, perfectly contoured lips, luscious amount of lashes. He lay still. I admired his beauty. I felt a surge of energy within me. I enjoyed the surge. He lay still. He is naked under the mountable amount of satins. He is naked over the ruby-colored damask. His body is white, slender...
PANDEMONIUM
I can hear the cracking of the walls. I can hear the squeaking of the concrete. It’s a scene of an earthquake except there is no any natural calamity. The wind outside is calm. But the house is shaking and walls are cracking and floors are breaking and house posts are giving up. I hug my comfort pillow as I lay on my bed. I hug my comfort pillow tighter. I try to ignore the chaos. I shut my...
WAITING.............. still waiting
This waiting is drying up all my creativity away. As I am only focused on one emotion of waiting that I am numbing myself in an attempt to not hurt myself, but still waiting. I now cannot formulate ideas, stories. My curiosity is minimal because of waiting for you.
I want the curious-me. The creative-me. I just miss and long for the me.
YOU ARE ALONE. I AM ALONE. CAN WE BE ALONE TOGETHER?
October 2010
8 posts
It's all in your hands.
I want you to be my Romeo and me your Juliet I want you to be the wind beneath my wings I want you to be my Clyde and me your Bonnie I want you to the one I would vow to be in love for all time I want you to be my King and me your Queen of hearts I want you to be the answer of my empty life I want you to be my Samson and me your Delilah I want you to be my first kiss under the mistletoe I...
Just as I suspected
Just as I suspected. My mind was right. My heart just tricked my mind into thinking that it would be possible. That it will be me who will finally break your record of never been in a relationship. That finally, you have found the one. And that one will be me. It was indeed a one-sided love story. All the obsession and compulsion was all make believe. I just wasted sleepless nights of thinking,...
I’m shooting up signals in the air. Can you not see it? I’m giving out affection towards you. Can you not feel it? My heart beats loud when you’re near. Can you not hear it?
FAYE GABRIELLE B. VILLEGAS
My heart and my number one love goes to this person only and I wish it will last until air will no longer enter both our lungs and until blood will no longer gives us life. I wish that no luxury or material will ever come between us. I wish that sisterhood will prevail amidst diversities and misunderstandings.
Facebook
I feel pathetic. I know you never open your page but I still check your wall for updates. I checked it for the ninth time today. Even browsed for older post even I have had checked it during the first eight times. I feel so pathetic.
I feel stupid. As I am obsess about you. I reminisce times where you were present. Remembering gestures from you that might tell me that you have a romantic motive....
So beautiful and yet so true...
girl: your new girlfriend is pretty. (i bet she stole your heart)
boy: yeah, she is. (but you’re still the most beautiful girl i know)
girl: i heard she’s funny & amazing. (all the stuff i wasn’t)
boy: she sure is. (but she’s nothing compared to you)
girl: i bet you know everything about her by now (like how you knew just about everything about me)
boy: only the stuff that count (i can’t even remember the stuff she tells me when i think of you)
girl: well, I hope you guys last. (because we never did)
boy: i hope we do too. (whatever happened to me & you?)
girl: well i got to go. (before i start to cry)
boy: yeah me too. (i hope you don’t cry)
girl: bye. (i still love you)
boy: later. (i never stopped)
Inside out.
I had my hair in a mohawk today. Bought black lipstick and an eyeliner. Tattered my jeans and wore my leather jackets with studs, spiked bracelet and colored my nails black. Acted like a badass bitch and kicked people around. Smoked weed and cigars like I don’t need lungs and drunk alcohol from the moment I woke up. Had my shoulders inked with bizarre words of Bismillah.
I turned into a...
September 2010
8 posts
IMAGINATION - power to create in one's mind
This mind and this heart is starting to work together now. My heart is searching for you and my mind is making up stories and images of me with you.
When we will be in the beach, how accidentally we coincidentally wore basketball jerseys. You wore your green college one and I wore my dad’s orange jersey. Then our friends will tease us and you’ll just blush and say nothing about it...
WILL THIS ALSO BE A ONE-SIDED-LOVE STORY?
I see you. I see them. They are teasing us and are taking effect on me. Why are they teasing us? Is this serious? It’s confusing. Is this a game? I had played this before. I frolic and I loss and it left me crying and depress. I found myself waiting for you, just to see you, hear your voice, your laughter. I found myself thinking about you every night, imagining what if we are...
I am not the girl who would say 'I LOVE YOU' for...
BE BACK TO FIND AND GET MY INSPIRATION.
The ‘me’ now is not the ‘me’ I wish or imagined to be or even dreamed of to occur even ones in my life. Uninspired. Always tired. Depressed. Anxious. Suicidal. I feel I no longer have any reason to live. I don’t have the fuel or drive to go and do more. All I want to do is be in my room and do nothing. It was like I just woke up and the spirit of inspiration just left...
Twisted Thoughts
Being happy is only achieve if a person is romantically involved with you.
For a family to be happy is to have dinner in an expensive restaurant.
Being contented is having someone sleep with you at night.
For a little girl to be happy is to have a barbie doll.
Being secure is to have someone hug you and kiss you from time to time.
Having revenge to kill stop ones heart beat.
Being rich is to...
Scent of perfume Aroma of alcohol breath Blunt taste of tongue Caress of soft lips playing mine
As we lay on bed Body on top mine Limbs are shaking Heart is beating fast
Kissed cheeks first The neck next That it tickled And made me giggle
A likable chill on the spine As you kneed my tummy And as I scratched your neck The kiss became more and more
I never dream to be in a situation like this. My parents never raised me to be this. I know this is wrong, very wrong. I never wanted to be a home wrecker. I never intend to. But is being in love with a married man make me one? I didn’t do anything wrong. I just fell in love and loved someone. Isn’t it what we are supposed to do? I know that one must choose, but can love choose?
FRANKLIN
I’m a nurse.
I started working in this psychiatric institution. It all started there. My first professional training ground. I was nervous and excited as I walked through the gates. By the corner of the solarium, I saw him there sitting. The snob look he wore that day lingered my thoughts for a few days. It was like I had this feeling, not of caution or curiosity. It was different. It was...
But I just can't.
Black drapes, inches from me, separates that allowed bright light to cast my pale skin. Smoke from old rich men’s cigarettes fill the air. Although dark, I can see my audience’s silhouettes. My eyes, fix on that silvery pole, the only entity that I see vividly, planted on the center part of the end of the ramp. I became aware of my garments; a long red arm velvet gloves, a strapping...
August 2010
8 posts
pt
I have cared for a hero, a field commander who fights and win our freedom.
I have cared for a doctor, a obstetrician who manages soon to be mommy.
I have cared for a kid, a student, full of inspiration and motivation that you can see it in his eyes, who strives to fulfill his dreams.
I have cared for an athlete, a basketball player who respects the game in the name of team work, sports and...
I ventured restlessly to the land of emptiness where in the forbidden valley lies the cold Highness. I searched up the mountains, to the hills green, every teeny fountain that gives water clean. Ran through the forest, amber with prudence. The soft land which I caress has zero existence. Cunning hungry wolves lurking in trees’ shadows. Surprised owls hoots whose suspicious eyes follows as I...
Ghost and Wife
Rainbow ghost running fast. Rainbow wife drenched in tears, on the cliff. About to jump, she did. Rainbow ghost now with Rainbow wife. They glide through the clouds, the thunder, the lightning, the droplets, the aurora borealis, the stars, the darkness.
Hands together, gliding as one. Truly happy each embraces. Cotton clouds, so fluffy and shiny. Everything has their colors emphasize. The sky...
I called and I walked
Pacing this hallway. I don’t deserve to be here. I need to be home with my baby. I’m missing a big part of his early life. I must be with baby. I must be with baby.
My thoughts drifted to the phone call I had with my wife earlier. I heard her voice. I heard her voice after months being locked up. I asked how is her, she said she’s fine. I asked her about baby, she said baby is...
ALZHEIMER'S CURSE
Sitting on these plastic chair, with a girl pouring warm water on me. There’s something of her smile that made me at ease even if I don’t know her. Her touch on my head, the caresses as she lathered my hair with poo, the firmness as she cleanse my body with soap. She keeps on talking about how we do this everyday. She keeps on talking about how cheerful this girl named...
OH SHE WISHES IT WILL BE 'MA MA'.
When mommy heard about you, she was so happy. She could not believe that you’re finally here. Her little angel, whether you are a boy or a girl, it doesn’t matter. Mommy can’t stop thinking of names. She can’t stop thinking of plans for you, of what adventures you and she will experience. She wondered what will be your first word, will it be ‘Ma Ma’? Oh she...
Yesteryears & Yesterdays
Yesteryears, Daddy has a funny way of saying ‘hello’ and he does this every time he burst into our main door and his funny smile. But yesterday, Daddy won’t even say a word when he comes home nor would he smile when he sees me. He even came home drunk and got his car scratch.
Yesteryears, Mummy’s chicken curry is my to-die-for-food that I request everyday. And when we eat,...
Turpentine
Our fingers intertwine You’re right beside me It sends shivers to my spine It’s here finally It’s now you and me
Us hugging like this Our heart beats on synchrony We are experiencing the epitome of bliss It’s here finally It’s now you and me
We lay side by side Your scent made me happy Day by day, I am mesmerize It’s here finally It’s now you and me
July 2010
18 posts
RAINDOW
Rushing, running, searching, crying Only trees, grass in this night, I see Your presence, I am desperately seeking, wanting, needing Gasping for air for I’m now weak Violent beat of my heart In vain, I shout with my might, but Nay! no sound Battered, I lay now in cold, still seeking, wanting, needing
CRASH. ACCIDENT. I'M SORRY
It is a dreadful 2 days of my life, my love. No talk. No conversation. Not even a Hi or Hello, Good Morning or Good afternoon or Good night. Nothing, my love, nothing. I see you, I am seeing you, my love. Crying, distraught, devastated, destroy. I am sorry, terribly sorry, my love. I was rushing, utterly frantic and in a hurry. Last year that day, you said yes. Together, we have been ever since,...
To The Purple Man
In a classic time of pure stare Gypsy towers still have no stairs She patiently waited for the purple man Through the vast lands and seas Castle high and willows low Deep inside their memories Their heart beats are in sync Then they met in the forest green A funny feeling they now share They cannot keep their eyes apart Oh! They cannot put it down to rest Then they are now in scare Their...
HOME SWEET HOME
Dried up shrubs and grass, dead maple tree, fallen dead leaves on the patio, Creaky sound of the door.
Shreds of papers and thrash on the floor, Shattered glass, Broken windows, worn out curtains.
Paint peeling off, Stinking aroma all around, dim lighting from candles, bitter air embraces.
Blood stains on the sofa and carpets, preserves of eyeballs and teeth and fingers, growth of molds on left...
Forest and Wolves
Through forest of insanity The shadows of the woods The howl of the wolves The sound of the cricket
The darkness soon covers Cold mist and fog now showing The tree tops are now swaying The leaves flaps creating a song
With the rhythm of the howls The whisper of the wind The choir created Serenity envelopes a being
Night of this life Prosper calmness through the horizon Together with peace...
BLANKET, MY NEW FOUND LOVE
I feel a lion inside me roaring In fury to my own blood and flesh Abandonment and unloved feeling From they brought me to this lonely world
The tears that are now rolling Are not warm and fuzy It’s cold and lifeless And I’m sensing future dismay
The black widow eyed me As I clutch my bended knees tightly Pouring out the anger inside me At the top of my voice I am shouting
I pulled...
Rage, Wrath, Hate, Rage, Wrath, Hate
Rage. It sucks when somebody treat you indifferently. It sucks when somebody sees through you. It sucks when they talk they don’t include you. It sucks even bigger when that person is your fucking father.
Wrath. Whenever he comes home, he comes in like I was a rug in the floor. Just look at me and don’t say nothing at all. Not even a hi or good afternoon. Not even a mere smile or a...
Staring At The Distant Darkness Of Life
Tears flowing down my cheeks Heart numbingly still pushing itself to work Staring at the blackness of light Clutching myself in vain of it all Four weeks of illusion, I was ecstatic Four days beside you, I was in eternity Four minutes of telephone call, I’m in the pit of darkness Four seconds of you in my mind, I’m drowning in tears My loving comrades warned me About the possibility...