Nauseous, dizzy, tired and sore. Drench in sweat and tears. I’m on my two feet on this solid cold ground. Tears falling and flowing. I don’t want to hold this stance anymore. Exhausted, I just want to give in. Surrender to the call of letting go. Pain engulfs my brain. Thoughts are rushing in. Images of what happened keep on flashing. Spoken sharp words echoing. I feel pain on my chest which intensifies with every breath that I take. I opened my eyes. My vision is blurred by tears. I waited for the liquid to flow. A knife is stabbed in my chest. I felt my heartbeat goes faster and faster. I am so weak that it takes a great amount of effort just to move my arms. I reach for the knife. I need to stop the pain it is bringing. As I grasp the handle, I felt resistance. Someone is pushing the knife steadily. I looked up, a grinning me is staring straight into my eyes. Panic crept. As my heartbeat and breathing fastens, her grin widens. With all might I tried to pull the knife out, but with no success. Tears are pooling again, I let out a sob. She is becoming stronger and stronger and I am becoming weaker and weaker. She begins to laugh. Her laugh becomes louder and louder. My heart and lungs become weaker, tired. Tired in giving means for me to survive. My will to live decreases. My knees wobbled and then I knelt. Hand slipped from my knife’s clutch. Oxygen and life starts to left my brain. The world is now twirling and spinning. I closed my eyes in exhaustion and then I finally surrender. Life left me and death welcomed me.
Everything is now set. I cannot wait to fly to your place and see your peaceful face sleeping. I cannot wait to smell you. I cannot wait to press my nose on your ear and kiss your jaw line where you very much like to be kissed. Everything is set. The potion. The bed. Everything is set. I lay down and took the bottle. I pulled the cork and drank the whole up until the last drop. I can fill the hot sting radiating to my chest down. I lay my head down and I felt my world twirling. I let out a smirk. I will be seeing you later, my darling, I thought. I felt the bottle rolled out my fingers and heard as the glass shattered on the tilled marble floor. I waited and then I woke up. I felt light. I felt everything was possible. I felt that I can do everything. Everything. I sat up and I saw my body still down. I looked at my translucent arms, I did it. I thought of flying and I did. I flew to you. I will be seeing you real later, my darling, I thought. Then I saw you, sleeping, on your side hugging the pillow that I gave you. I touched you and I felt your warmth. I lay down beside you and I felt home. I stared at your beautiful face and lingered at your very existence. From that day on, I was with you. With you the whole time. With you your whole life.